Week 4 Explanation

I have to include this email that I wrote to Calvin so that some of the emails that he wrote back will make sense. Occasionally I'll write an email to Calvin from the animals. He likes those.

Dear Calvin,
I wish they allowed you to have cats on your mission. I'd have Mom and Dad send me to you. You wouldn't believe the abuse I put up with here. Sheesh.
Sophie mauls me all the time and Mom and Dad just sit there and watch! I have to put up with her laying on me and grabbing me, and practically strangling me. Then - and this is the horrible
part, I mean absolutely horrible! you might have to look away it's so horrible - yesterday the girls got back from field hockey practice and Miranda was filling the tub with freezing cold water and
she THREW me in the tub! I still shudder when I think about it. THE HORROR! Of course the dog tried to follow me upstairs, feigning a worried look on his face, but I'm sure he wanted to gloat or
something. And if that wasn't bad enough, Mom didn't see the whole thing, so she made Miranda drag me out from under her bed upstairs and pretend to cuddle me and comfort me all the way
downstairs so she could THROW ME IN THE TUB AGAIN!! Then they laughed at me! Oh, the indignity!
Mom has tried to be a cat lately but no one lets her. She tried to be a cat yesterday but everyone kept getting her out of bed. She was really frustrated because she kept feeling like she was going
to pass out. She's back on the fun medicine again - the stuff that makes her think deep thoughts and understand abstract art. But she's having really weird dreams, and she doesn't feel safe
driving. This should be really interesting when Dad starts his new job next week. I have a feeling Chantal is going to have to drive more often - which is going to make Miranda really scared.
Mom made granola and her 12 grain rolls yesterday, so the house smelled good.
Sophie's been watching "Beauty and the Beast" all day today. She always cries when the beast turns into the prince. I can understand, I'd cry if I had to turn into a human too. I like being a cat.
Mom really likes to get your emails. She got really mad the other day when Dad got two emails from you and everyone else only got one. She said something about giving birth to you and carrying
you for 9 months, and sacrificing her body for her children and writing all those letters every day to you in the MTC and you write 2 letters to Dad and draw him pictures and what about her.
Sheesh, you'd think that you don't write anything to her the way she went on.
Ugh. Sophie is demanding to watch Mickey Mouse on the computer so I have to get off. I never get to do anything around here. I'm just the cat. Maul me. Throw me in a tub filled with cold water.
Tease me. Make me clean myself for hours. Chase me around the house. Throw my mice outside. Fssssssst!!!
Love,
Midnight